you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
