im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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