Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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