In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
