Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
