I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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