Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
