Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
