I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
