She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
