I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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