never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
