this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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