i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
