You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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