How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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