i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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