My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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