we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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