She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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