yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
