need another drink. this is the easiest way
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
