In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
