Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
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The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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