You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
