My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
