It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
COCAINE IS GR8
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
