if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My life is pants optional.
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