I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
