Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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