Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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