Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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