i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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