He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I need to stop coming to work sober
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
