So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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