you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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