So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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