i jhust puked up my retainher.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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