I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
