Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize