i already hear my dad disowning me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
