The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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