I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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