Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
