And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
