That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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