At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
