our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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