Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
