We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
