Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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