Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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