You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
