and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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