you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
