the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
