Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
